Dream on my child..

"What would you want to be when you grow up?" was the question we all answered while we were kids..and we would have quick replies like a doctor, teacher, pilot, etc. 

Very rarely did we think or were encouraged to look beyond the conventional goals of completion of education and settling in a career. Our parents struggled their entire lifetime to provide for and build a great life for us, but somehow failed to teach us to 'Dream' and dream real big.

Of course dreaming here means, day dreaming. A dream is a series of thoughts occuring to a sleepy or unconscious mind; which may or may not be pleasant. A day dream on the other other hand is mostly pleasant and about something we want to achieve.  

There are very interesting observations made about day dreaming by a few great people...

-All important progress made by the human race has its roots in day dreaming...Eda LeShan

-I live my day dream in music...Albert Einstein.

-They who dream by day are cognizant of many things, which escape those who only dream by night...Edgar Allan Poe

..And yet somehow we do not value the essence of dreaming. We associate it with an idle or immature mind.

While its important to dream; the process of visualisation, is day dreaming with a purpose.

While most of us dreamt of professional success as kids, but failed to visualise the path that would lead us there. While dealing with teenage blues, a we were already overwheighed with the burden of getting into a great college to further our ambition...or most of the time, it was our parent's ambition. And all that we needed was to get that 80 or 90% marks!! Then the rat race begins for getting a job, then a better job, running a family saving for children and your future...We yearn for a vacation today because we do not live our passion, our ambition.. Don't let the same happen to your child.

"Without a vision, a nation perishes".... a proverb.I believe it. More to the point, children without a vision perish in the rat race of life. There is a part of them that dies when they don’t feel they have the chance to actualize their dreams.

The importance of their dreams needs to be of high value to us since it is to our youth that we entrust the future. And, look at the legacy we leave them! War,debt, global warming and all of the fears that come with these challenges. Where is there room for their “castles in the air”?

Sometimes dreams can unwittingly be shot down because we, as adults, see them as “pie in the sky.” It may be tempting to respond negatively. “We don’t have the money.” “You’re not smart enough to do that.” “Don’t get your hopes up, you’ll only get hurt.” But these sorts of messages demote dreams. They can turn a hopeful kid’s life into drudgery. If we don’t encourage their dreams, can we be surprised when kids make the choices they make?

I like the way Thoreau said it..

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be.Now put the foundation under them".

Often, the challenge for a young person is to figure out what small steps of success will help move him toward his dream in the sky. Or, how to attach his dream in the sky with his life down on earth. I think of it as building a foundation of practical measures. Dreaming of the good things that can be acted upon now. This energizes and motivates kids to put together the pieces of the puzzle for a positive future.

Here are a few things kids can do to make it happen:

1) Clarify the dream by getting a sense of how they can live their lives in the big picture.

2) Create the blueprint by mapping their dreams (all flavors) and what steps it will take to build them.

3) Identify the people and resources who will be partners in the dream and in helping them accomplish their goals.

And how can we be of help in the process? Busyness (keeping yourself and your kids too busy) seems to play a major factor in the lack of connection kids feel with adults in their lives. Often, we fault the kids for lacking communication skills , saying they are watching too much television or playing too many video games. Yet we, the adults, are often the ones too busy to communicate.

I have a few simple suggestions that could have a big impact:

• Find time to listen actively to your kids and their dreams.

• Find time to offer emotional support. Ask questions.

• Find time to listen to your kid’s dreams for the future and be willing to trust his ideas. Ask questions.

• Share your own dreams with your kids. Get connected.

• Encourage conversation.

In short, don’t let another day go by without sharing your hopes and wishes for your kids and for yourself. Let them know how you are going to be there for them. Listen to what they want for their lives. It is an offer nothing short of greatness!

Are we the angry generation?

It's not uncommon to see couples fighting, teenagers adopting violent practices inorder to achieve what they want and even kids, showing signs of anger and being violent. We all know we need to control how we vent our anger and frustration, but fail at it each time. 

 Let's consider the biochemical aspect of anger, because anger has its roots in our body as well as our mind. 

Anger Is Not Strictly a Psychological Reality

 Our dualistic view tells us that mind cannot be body, and body cannot be mind. But looking deeply, don't our body and mind work in parallel?

The fact is, that what happens to the body also happens to the mind, and vice versa. Body and mind are not two separate entities-they are one. We have to take very good care of our body if we want to master our anger. What we eat and the way we eat are very important.

We Are What We Eat!

Our anger, frustration and despair, have much to do with our body and the food we eat. The way we grow our food, the kind of food we eat, and the way we eat it has much to do with civilization because the choices we make can bring about peace and relieve suffering. The food that we eat can play a very important role in our anger. Our food may contain anger. When we eat the flesh of an animal with mad cow disease, anger is there in the meat. Similarly, with other meat products and even poultry,  we are eating anger, and therefore we express anger.

These days, chickens are raised in large-scale highly confined modern farms, where they cannot move, or seek food in the soil. They are fed solely by humans. They stand day and night. Imagine that you have no right to move and are expected to just stand at one place. The result: You would go restless and eventually, mad. Similarly with the chickens you consume.

To get more eggs, artificial lighting is used to create shorter nights; within the premises. They express their anger and frustration by attacking each other with their beaks. They cause each other to bleed, to suffer, and to die. To prevent this and to add to their woes; their beaks are cut off  to prevent them from attacking each other out of frustration. So can you imagine the effects on our bodies, if we are to consume an animal or bird raised like this?

We have to eat happy eggs from happy chickens. We have to drink milk that does not come from angry cows. We have to make an effort to support farmers to raise these animals in a more humane way.  Vegetables too have to be grown organically. They are expensive, but, to compensate, we can eat less. We can learn to eat less!

Eating Well, Eating Less

It's all in the cooking! Cook with a good mood and with a unoccupied mind, and you can see the difference in the result. Cooking with anger or stress eventually transpires into your food and does not amount to nourishment. 

Play some soulful music or light an aromatic candle while you cook to uplift your mood while you cook.There are those who take refuge in eating to forget their sorrow and their depression. Overeating can create difficulties for the digestive system, contributing to the arising of anger. It can also produce too much energy. If you do not know how to handle this energy, it can become the energy of anger, of sex, and of violence.

When we eat well, we can eat less. Actually research proves that we need only half the amount of food that we eat every day. When we eat very slowly and chew our food carefully, we get more nutrition than if we eat a lot but don’t digest it well.

Our scriptures have it; eating is a deep practice. We need to practice mindful eating and to enjoy every morsel of our food, which in turn would nourish our bodies and mind. A proper posture while eating, is essential for your digestive system.

We eat well, if what we see before us, is presented beautifully. So spend sometime to organise your table and dishes you cook with love. Serve yourself in smaller amounts and relish every bite with your loved ones. You will see the difference! 

Consuming Anger Through Other Senses

Not only do we nourish our anger with edible food, but also through what we consume with our eyes, ears, and consciousness. 

What we read in magazines, what we view on television, can also be toxic. It may also contain anger and frustration. A movie, or a newspaper article are like a piece of beefsteak. They may contain anger. If you consume them, you once again are eating anger, you are eating frustration. 

That is why mindful consumption is very important. Children, at their tender age and understanding should also be kept away from any medium potraying anger or violence. Be selective about the type of video games or books you buy for your child.

Practice meditation:

Practice meditation whenever you are free. Simple deep breathing excercises, even at work can reduce a great deal of stress and anger. Wear comfortable clothing, shoes and maintain a good posture while sitting or standing to avoid stressing out your body.

Remember to treat your body as a temple, and avoid situations and people drawing you to anxiety, negativity and anger. You do not have to be a part of every storm you are invited into. Be around people who make you happy and feel positive about yourself. Do things that make you happy, as happiness creates a ripple effect.

Don't stay angry for long. You cannot change certain people or control every situation. Let go. You cannot conquer anger all at once; no one can. But we can surely make some small changes to our lifestyles to avoid being and staying angry. 

Let's stay happy and promote happiness daily!